I had sincerely thought about deleting this blog because I haven't been keeping up well with it, but I've decided (for now) to keep it. There has been so much going on lately in my mind. I am very overwhelmed with everything coming in the next few months. What better way to deal with it than putting it down in words?
Baby. That's an obvious one. Although thoroughly planned, we didn't expect it to happen so quickly. That has been explained previously. Then there was the slight gender disappointment, and not going to lie, still a bit sad that I won't have a little princess. However, completely happy that I get another little prince to spoil and love. I've really gone all out this time. There is a 95% chance that this is our last. Neither of us want to do anything permanent in case we change our minds in the future. Right now, we are very content with the thought of just two children. When we were expecting Conner, we were not in the position to buy nicer items. This time we are. At first I felt badly for it, like I was playing favorites since Conner did not get those things, but who am I kidding? Conner is one spoiled 2 year old. He has everything he could want and then some. Lucas will have the same. Mostly because we can, but more importantly because I would give up anything to make sure they can. Once you make the decision to have a child, it's no longer about you. The love I get back from them is plenty. :)
PCS. Obviously, we are in Georgia now. I had to leave all of my friends behind in El Paso. All that I had gotten used to the last 2 years. I love it here so far. Chris is still in processing, but he seems to like it here, too. It's been a big stress, but now a big relief. I'm glad to have somewhere to call a home. I know that there are a lot of people in this world who don't even have that. I haven't made many friends here yet, but that's okay. I'll slowly work up to that. My neighbors are all very friendly when we see them outside. We are still getting used to everything that Georgia has to offer - namely that rain and bugs. Haha.
Deployment. Along with the PCS comes that dreaded 'D' word. We knew it was coming. We could have gone anywhere, yet he chose somewhere that was deploying because that is what he wants to do. I stand behind him 100%. Do I like the idea of my husband and father of my children being put in danger? No, of course not. Who would? That's a silly question, but I get it a lot. It's part of the deal. He fights for our country and in turn, we get amazing benefits, a steady paycheck, and the opportunity to travel and meet amazing people. It's already been a big mess, this 'D' word. He was told he'd have enough time to get here, train up and go. Then we were told that the brigade he was going to had their deployment orders put on hold and we're no longer going. Then we were told that there are only 2 units within the brigade going now, both of which he is able to be placed into, leaving between August and November. He hasn't gotten his unit assignment yet. He will get that next week. Anyway, that's a 4 month gap. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a planner. I like to be able to have some sort of plan set in motion. And considering I am due right in the middle of those 4 months, yea, I was a little more that frustrated. Yesterday they were briefed on it again. The time frame is now between October-November. I can work with that. I'm due at the end of September. This means, unless I go wayyy over (this is my second, so I highly doubt it), he SHOULD be here for the birth. That's a big relief. Now I just need to find someone to be here for Conner.
Last night it all kind of sank in. We finally have a time frame. We know that both of the units he could be placed in are going, regardless. This is really happening now. I've mentally prepared myself for this from the moment he brought up even wanting to enlist. No amount of preparation is going to brace me for the actuality of it. I know what happens now. He gets his assignment. He'll do some training. We'll have some meetings where spouses can get information. We might even have a deployment fair and a military ball. We'll go do a will, POA and any other necessary paperwork so that I can deal with things on the homefront while he's down range. Then we'll say 'see you later'. I get to be mommy and daddy for approximately 9 months. Pretty simple in those terms. I'm prepared for the sleepless nights. I'm going to have those anyway with a newborn in the house. But plain and simple, I'm about to lose half of myself for quite some time. Part of our foundation in this home will be halfway around the world. And that sucks.
I know whatever obstacle is thrown our way will be taken on one at a time. I'm very thankful to have family and friends to lean on, even if they are far away. Most of all, I'm thankful for the two little boys that will be my rocks during this time. Bring it on.
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